Of Rainbows and Men Chapter Three

This be a disclaimer: I do not own Rainbow Dash, Hasbro does. It would be cool though if I did... Oh, this story doesn't reflect my views of Detroit, the school system, or anything else in this story.


Of Rainbows and Men
Chapter 3: The question

"Just ask her already!!"


[4. Jerry lives in Dallas, Texas; his friend David lives in Madison, South Dakota. The two cities can be found on the same longitude line; and the radius of the earth is approximately 6,400 km. Jerry wants to go visit David; so using the arc-length method, calculate how far Jerry must travel to visit his friend in km.]

What the fuck?

I stared at the Trigonometry test (more specifically problem number four) with a mixed look of confusion and frustration.

The class I sat in was your basic, run-of-the-mill trig class. Just a little worse for wear. Everyone sat at desk/chair hybrids, that weren't very well kept. There was gum stuck under the furniture items, and random phrases scratched into them as well. As per some apparent secret rule, posters declaring learning is fun (on which I call bullshit) covered about seventy-five percent of the walls.

The A/C didn't really work, so it was fairly hot in the room; which was making me sweat a little in my light grey t-shirt, and black south pole shorts. The instructor's desk was just like a common teacher's desk. If you have ever seen one. Even had that stupid little name plate they like to have, along with the stereotypical brass apple.

Yellowish light filtered through the bars of the windows, giving a weary feeling to the room. The lights were off, per request of the teacher. Save power and all that jazz.

The test was a twenty question quiz, that was currently testing my patience.

I read over the problem again.

Why the hell doesn't Jerry just use a fuckin GPS? I don't even have the slightest clue to helping him out here. Why should I even care that he is going to visit his friend? He ain't my friend.

Wait. I don't know, but I might know someone who does.

"Hey Dash." I whispered to my backpack.

"Yeah?" She replied in a hushed tone.

"Do you know how to find arc-length using trigonometry?" I asked surreptitiously.

"Trignonwhatzit?" She sounded genuinely confused

Damn it!!

"Aren't you supposed to already know this anyways?" She inquired in a slightly playful tone.

"It isn't my fault they make this stuff boring as hell." I retorted as quietly as I could without losing effect; which was actually pretty silent.

"Doesn't change that you don't know it." She replied smugly.

I gave the bag a menacing glare.

"Smartass."

"Airhead."

I didn't know what was pissing me off more; the test or the rainbow colored pain in my ass.

Back to the dreaded problem. Does anyone have a lighter I could borrow? No? Fuck.

Screw it.

I put my pencil to the paper and began writing.

[First: Why the hell should I care? Second: How the fuck is this important?
Third: Jerry and David could go fuck themselves.]

Satisfied with my answer, I moved on to the next question. No way could they all be this hard.

[5. After visiting his David, Jerry decided to go visit his parents in LA. Calculate the distance using the same method as before.]

---

In the land of Equestria a distant cry sounded through the royal palace in Canterlot. It reached the ears of a certain alicorn princess and her student, which made the latter look up in confusion.

"Princess, what was that?" The pupil inquired.

The teacher wore an expression of confusion and slight sadness.

"That was the sound of pure anger and frustration." The instructor replied, then she peered out the window and said, " I wonder where it came from..."

---

This is getting old. I think I'm going to start getting homework from Ms. Salis at this rate.

I mean sure I screamed and tore the quiz to pieces like a madman; but who hasn't?

"That was hilarious." My bag whispered.

"Shut up."

---

I stared at the laughable excuse of a burger, as I sat in the school's cafeteria. I could hear the bustle of the other students around me as they ate.

I had given Rainbow the salad that came with it; which left me to "enjoy" the hamburger. If it could even be called that. I think I'm considering starvation over the piece of moldy cardboard the school expected us to eat. I'm also pretty sure that red liqu- wait, is that blood? Okay I'm now definitely going with hunger.

*growlllll*

Shut up stomach.

---

" So President Hoover believed in a laissez-faire policy. This meant that..."

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

WARNING, BOREDOM REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS. DEATH IMMINENT!!

What do we do sir!?!

I don't know Private, he is in *shudder*  history class. Call your family son, cause we ain't gonna make it.

But sir there are at least twenty brain cells on this ship, we can't just abandon it.

What can we do? We had a full mental breakdown earlier, I think the stress is getting to the system.

WARNING MIND WANDERING.

We can't just give up Captain!

Okay Private, I'm suddenly inspired to do something about it. POWER UP THE FOCUS DRIVES! PREPARE TO TUNE IN!!

"... So they were called 'Hoovervilles' as an insult to the President."

I think I'm going to somehow go back in time and murder the guy who invented history class.

Normally I would have fallen asleep by now, or said some sarcastic comment, but today I hope to get through this class without acquiring time with she-who-must-not-be-named.

The hilarious part is that I set this same goal every time, yet I always get sent there this period without fail.

I can only wonder how long it'll be until it happens...

---

Four minutes later...

I sat there, with Ms. Salis's piercing stare sending shivers down my spine. Despite that fact, I still wore my scowl.

"You just HAD to go on a rant about how stupid history is." A certain bag enclosed Pegasus whispered.

"It is." I replied in a low growl.

"It's funny, you remind me of a less  egghead version of Twi- I mean somepony I know. Or knew."

Silence.

Wow. Things just got horribly awkward at the wort possible place.

The rest of the time was spent in silence.

Awkward, awkward silence.

Sounds like fun doesn't it?

---

*RIIINNNNGGGG!!!*

Why does it seem I've been spending more periods in detention lately?

In fact I spent every single period in detention today. I could include the hilarious details, but I'm pretty sure whatever your imagination cooks up will be pretty accurate.

I kinda feel sorry for what I did to that one kid though. I wonder when he'll fully recover...

All in all, a slightly less than normal day.

A deep sigh escaped my lips, as I began my trek home.

Is it just me or has my life began to get more... I don't even know. All I know is that I don't enjoy spending my days with Ms. Salis. Just between you and me, I think she isn't human. For example, sometimes I swear her eyes flash a different color. I may just be going crazy as I think (with good reason) my chemistry teacher is a mad scientist as well.

Ugh.

I need to stop getting stressed out, I don't even know why I am. I don't give a crap about any of this.

Right?

---

I flopped face-first onto my bed. I felt a weight lift off my back, as Dash left the confinement of my backpack.

"So what's for dinner?" She inquired. My stomach asked the same question.

"I dunno. Probably pizza." I replied with a half groan.

"Doesn't your mom ever make you dinner?"

My eye twitched.

"No." I told the pegasus in a not-so-happy tone.

I turned my gaze towards her. She sat in my chair, a saddened expression pasted on her face.

We stared at each other, having a silent conversation. I could feel her delving into my eyes, as I tried my best to search hers.

It was funny, because they looked so similar to...

"Where's the phone?" I asked as an attempt to change the subject.

"I think it's on the desk." She replied.

I groaned and slowly lifted myself off the bed, then made my way to the device on the hard, wooden, surface. My day has been pretty shitty, but it is about to get better.

"Oh! Now I know why you keep ordering pizza." I arched an eyebrow at her, phone in hand.

"You are in love." A huge grin busted out on her face, as if she just solved some great mystery. A nice red blanket spread across mine.

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT!?!?" I yelled.

She began laughing. "It's obvious! You are totally in love with the pizza girl!"

I just stared at her, blushing furiously.

"You should ask her out!" She said in a joking tone. My eyes widened, as I turned redder than a red delicious apple.

"NO!!!" I practically screamed. That only made her devilish smile grow wider.

"Why not? You totally love her, so you should make a move." She waved a hoof for effect.

"What if she says no?" I said in desperation.

"Then you be her best friend ever. And maybe, you'll get another chance." She replied in a more sincere tone.

Fuck. She had me. Maybe she had a point. Maybe I should ask Kate out on a date. Also, why do I get the feeling the columbian blue mare is more experienced at this than me?

"Fine. I'll ask her." I said with a small smile of defeat.

"Alright!" She did a loop, landing back in place, then did this really cute thing where she pushes her cheeks together with her forehooves, making her lips pucker up.  "This gonna be SO AWESOME!!" Her voice squeaked on the last two words.

I sighed and dialed the pizza places number.

---

"Now, what have we learned?"

"Good control."

"Good."

"Eye contact."

"Okay."

"And most of all, confidence."

"Right. Now that you know all the elements of a good date invitation, lets hear one."

Dash, who was previously pacing back and forth next to me, landed in front of me. I, meanwhile, wore a focused look.

I took a deep breath. And began.

"Rainbow Dash," I looked into her magenta eyes, which formed into an innocent look. Then Kate's image popped into my head. "W-W-Will you g-go on a date with me?" My voice suddenly turned meek, I found myself tripping over my words. Which was kinda uncharacteristic for me.

Dash gave me a deadpan look.

"Seriously? You're gonna ask her out like THAT?"

"I may be a LITTLE (understatement) nervous about this." I replied, with a weak smile.

She face palmed. Or is it face hoofed?

"Okay, let's start over again."

---

Thirty minutes of practice later...

"Rainbow Dash do you want to go out with me?" I asked in total confidence (well feigned).

"PERFECT!!!" The light blue mare clapped her forehooves together and gave me a big grin, in which I reflected back at her. "Now all you gotta do is say that to her." She leaned in towards me, with a confident expression on her face. "Can you do it!?!"

"Yeah!" I pumped my fist.

Dash seems to have a strange ability to inspire confidence in those around her. To get them pumped and hyped up for the task ahead. I swear she would make an awesome one man cheer team. Even if she is a pain in the ass half the time.

A knocking sound echoed through the house. I froze. She's here.

"Are ya just gonna stand there, or are ya gonna go answer the door?" The pegasus asked. I snapped out of it, and headed towards the door. The whole way there, I continued reassuring myself.

Okay. I got this.

I reached the door, took a deep breath, and opened the door...

...to reveal the pizza GUY.

"Okay a large cheese pizza and a bottle of Dr. Pepper. That'll be seven-fifty." He said.

I paid him, and quickly retreated into my home. I then made the journey back to the bedroom. When I entered, I wore a mix of relief, disappointment, and frustration, on my face.  Dash had a weak smile on hers.

"We'll just have to try tomorrow." She told me in a comforting tone.

---
Next night...

Doubts filled my mind, as I paced back and forth on the floor.

What if she says no? What if she doesn't love me back, we only met three days ago. What if she doesn't even want to be my friend? Is the risk too high? Why can't I think of her and talk straight.

"Umm... Zach?" I heard Dash say.

I half replied, "Yeah?" I still paced.

"I think you might want to stop going back and forth like that. You're making a path." She told me. I stopped and looked down. Indeed there was a path going from the door to the bed.

"Oh." She began laughing.

Before I could say anything, there was a knocking at the door.

I burst into action and hurried down the stairs, towards the door.

Okay, this is it. It all comes down to this. Don't fuck this up Zach.

I grasped the handle, and opened the door. There she was. Funny, she looked even more beautiful tonight. Or is that just me? Whatever, it doesn't matter.

"Hi Zach. You okay? You are sweating." She told me, in a tone that suggested she knew what I was planning. But she probably didn't know. I was sweating though, pure nervousness was dripping from my skin.

What are you waiting for?

"Umm... Yeah, how about you?" I replied, as I rubbed the back of my head.

Come on ask her!

"Good, that'll be seven-fifty by the way." She gave me a smile.

I paid her, and she began to walk away.

YOU ARE LOSING HER! NOW OR NEVER!! You're right me. I need to man up.

"Wait!" I called out. She turned around, as I jogged up to her and looked her in the eyes.

I threw Dash's rules out the window as I just spoke my heart. This was it. No distractions, no hesitation. It all comes down to this. YOLO right?

"Kate Wake, will you go out with me?"


(Author's note: Sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Constructive criticism is welcome. Oh and feel free to comment! Have an amazing day!)